The Top Ten Worst Words

Some of these words suffer from “movie quote Jim” syndrome while others have been awful since their inception. “Who is movie quote Jim” you ask? He’s the guy that saw the same funny movie everyone else did but feels the need to drop the same movie quote on you every day. The first few times it gets a rise out of everyone, albeit a bit awkwardly. Jim then presses on like the brave soldier he is, quoting the Hangover, until people are sick of hearing it. It’s time to fucking stop Jim. Today we’re going to tackle some of the worst words that have been overused, misused or used at all.

Literally

My problem with the word “literally” is that most people who use it are literally using it wrong. I’m not an English aficionado, but I know that quite a few people are fucking this word up. The problem is when the word is paired with things that are already being used as hyperbole. For example, “I’m literally dying” often followed by the laughing tear faced emojis. Are you? If you’re literally dying, maybe you should be calling an ambulance instead of commenting on Facebook videos of a white girl rapping in the car. The Kardashians literally deserve a shovel to the face for what they’ve done to this word.

Dog Parents/Fur Babies

This one is a twofer since I hate both terms equally and make me cringe when I read or hear them. First let’s establish the fact that you’re not a parent if you own a dog. Yes, they’re a responsibility, and yes that’s why your parents said you couldn’t have one as a child. Oh wait, that was just me? Well aren’t you special with your dog-filled childhood. Second, I don’t recall any stories about babies being able to eat someone’s face off if they lost their temper. Let’s just agree these terms are a bit absurd.

Adulting

Apparently doing anything remotely adult for the upcoming generation qualifies for a new term. It’s not like anyone has ever had to buy houses, pay bills or cut the grass before in their life. This term is the crux of ignorance among millennials. This term seems to resonate with those who haven’t accepted the fact that they’re actual adults and think they’re just pretending to be one. I’m sure “Crisising” is in their hopper, ready to go in another fifteen years.

Squadgoals

Usually referring to a trendy group thing (IE; Mannequin challenge) or another group of trendsetters, this term is another of pure annoyance. It’s not enough to have one group of annoying douches, now we need to have people making other’s actions their own personal goals. If you need further elaboration on this, just look at #Squadgoals and tell me you don’t feel nauseous.

Problematic

This is an interesting one because it tends to float around communities that are often offended by anything that crosses their path. The problem (hur hur) with this is that it’s often very biased what is defined as “problematic”. It’s a nice case of “I don’t like what you have to say, therefore it’s problematic to me”. It’s not just Social Justice Warriors jumping on this bandwagon, Google has even started using this term (see Project Owl) and sounds a lot more like censorship than being the friendly neighborhood Google. Instead of finding every opinion outside of your own to be problematic, try seeing the other side for once… or dare I say, lightening up a little.

Trigger

Unless you’ve actually experienced something traumatic like war, rape, abuse or an act of terrorism you likely shouldn’t be using this word. Tumblr on the other hand likes to throw this one around as if 90% of its user base has PTSD. It’s one of the couple words on this list that crosses the line of being generally annoying to being insulting to people who have PTSD. If written words are a trigger to you, you’re also probably full of shit.

Basic

I’m not even sure where to start with Basic. Is it just implying that a basic (insert insult here) is lacking a few brain cells or that they’re a walking stereotype? I’ve submitted to the idea that nobody is entirely sure what it means but continue to call dumb chicks (uh oh, that’s twice now… misogyny alert) basic. Regardless, this word is what I imagine every sassy gay guy yelling at girls in Starbucks.

Shaming

Shaming is often accompanied by a prefix (slut, fat, etc.) and usually used by Social Justice Warriors. If you’re doing something that you need to tell people to stop shaming you for, you probably should be ashamed of what it is you’re doing. Nobody told you to break the record for guys blown in a night; you should feel a bit dirty. This word is used as common defense for bad behavior that people don’t want to accept consequences for.

“AF”

To be fair, this word can only be used in text because if I ever heard it in person my head would probably explode, causing the end of the modern world as we know it. If you use this word to censor yourself from saying “fuck”, it’s probably not an appropriate situation to say “AF” in either… If you use this word to shorten “as fuck” then you should promptly punch yourself in the delicates.

Phobia

When used in proper context I let this one slide, but recently there have been a lot of phobias thrown around that don’t really seem to fit the idea of “fear” (Islamaphobia, homophobia, xenophobia). Before you think you’re running mental circles around someone, take a step back and consider: Are they truly afraid of this or do they just not like it/agree with it? Always remember, the best offense is to build someone a “hate resume” of isms and phobias. That’ll teach em’.

OCD

I did say trigger was one of the “couple” words that are insulting. Again, this is a case of being strongly misused by people who are usually just way too detail oriented. The funny thing is, it’s always a one time, menial bullshit thing that prompts someone to say “Oh I’m really OCD”. It’s never the guy checking the door is locked ten times while reciting a mantra to himself who says it. If you’re one of these people who casually claim to have OCD, this top ten list is actually eleven. Fuck you and your fake self-diagnosis.

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